Liquid Xanax

My travel related stress has officially begun. We don’t travel much and now I remember why. I love the idea of traveling and exploring, but it really stresses me out every time.  Just the logistics of packing what’s appropriate, and getting to and from, and actually trying to enjoy myself all tend to wear on me. Obviously if we did travel more I would get more used to it and it probably wouldn’t be as stressful.  To give you some perspective Matt and I haven’t been on an airplane for 8 years!  The last time was when we got married 8 years ago in Hawaii.  That’s crazy considering as a child I flew all the time to visit family.  

So we don’t leave until Tuesday but I asked Matt to pack with me last night so I could settle down a bit about all our stuff fitting into 2 backpacks and a small toiletry bag. We’re going to be gone 4 nights and I can’t see taking a ton of luggage especially when we will probably be doing public transportation to get to and from the airport.  Which I started stressing about a bit a few weeks ago. So I did my research and it doesn’t look to daunting. I think we will be fine. 

Then, late last night I found out that I will probably have to sleep at the hospital while Matt sleeps at the NIH lodge, which I’m not too excited about. I know it sounds so weird, but I don’t like being alone in unfamiliar places.  I feel like such a baby saying that, but I have always been that way.  I remember my first night at my dorm room in college by myself.  I cried as soon as my mom left.  And then, probably just like now, it was more about the unknown of what’s to come.  I’ve done my fair share of preparation both mentally and physically for this short trip, but there are still so many unknowns.  In reality, in just a few short days all of the unknowns with no longer be unknown.  I just need to keep remembering that and take everything in stride and go with the flow. I’m trying to keep a positive attitude especially if this is the worst trhing I need to worry about, but I’m struggling a bit here. 

And then this morning I go to the community center to attend my weekly hip hop class, and it was cancelled. Doh. I just love this hip hop class and felt I really needed it today.  Instead of leaving, I decided to get on a treadmill and ran 2.5 miles.  Which totally helped. All the breathing and sweating that happens when you run can really help blow off some steam and anxiety.  So I’m feeling a bit better at the moment, but definitely plan on using my liquid Xanax for the next couple of days.  For those of you who don’t know, my liquid Xanax is a blend of essential oils that a friend made for me a while back (you know who you are 😉) and it actually helps a ton when feeling on edge.