2019 Reflection

As the year comes to an end, I’ve found myself reflecting. Reflecting on things I’d like to do differently next year.  Reflecting on things I’ve loved about this year.  Reflecting on decisions that have been made this year.  Just really bringing a close to this year to make room for the year ahead. I don’t know that I really believe in New Years resolutions for a couple of reasons. One, I always feel like a failure if I don’t accomplish them. It’s just so much pressure.  Two, as the year comes to an end I hear people scrambling to get their resolution completed. I.E. my husband deciding to learn to ride a unicycle. Btw, this has been a resolution of his for several years and he still has yet to do it. Which, again, doesn’t make him a failure...it’s just what it is. The new year is just a continuation of life. And living our best life. I choose to look at it more like a friendly reminder of the things I’d like to accomplish and a perfect time to reflect on the previous year.

And as I reflect, I’m reminded I’m not perfect. Nor has this last year been perfect. There have been many ups and many downs.  Which is life, right?  I have a tendency to really focus on the negative and dwell a bit. I’m not proud of this. And I am working on it. Learning to ride the wave of life as it is. Be thankful and grateful for all the ups and even the downs. Life would be so boring if it was great all the time. Haha. I tell myself during a low while trying to convince myself of that.  This year has be challenging and stressful to say the least.  So as I learn to give myself and my family grace, I choose to focus on the positives this year has brought. 

I no longer have to stress or worry that I will get this horrendous stomach cancer.  My body is adjusting so well to life without a stomach. It’s still so crazy to think about.  I have been able to spend an unmeasurable amount of time with the people I love most in this world, my hubby and kiddos.  I have learned so much about myself and my family on this crazy journey.  I am stronger and more patient than I have ever known.  It’s very difficult to show love and compassion when you’re not feeling your best.  My kiddos understand and comprehend more than we give them credit for.  They are truly thoughtful, caring and empathetic.  My husband is amazing, which is nothing new.  But he’s really stepped up in ways I could have never imagined.  And I’ve solidified that an untidy house drives new insane, I never want to be a stay at home mom, I’m stubborn as hell, and...I am so lucky in this life. 

So cheers to 2020.  It’s going to be an amazing year.  So many things to look forward too. 

Reflux...ugh

Our Christmas get together with hubby’s family last night was so much fun. Just good people, good food, good entertainment, and good fun. It’s always fun to see those we only see once a year.  Hearing how life is going and what they are up to. And then of course it’s awesome spending time with the ones we see more often.  Kiddos running around. 2 year old twins keeps everybody entertained at some point in the evening.

As far as food goes, I found it very difficult to eat as frequently as I should.  Of course the food was delicious and I wish I could have eaten more. In hindsight I wish I would have made myself 2 plates. One for the moment everybody was eating. And the second for a couple of hours later.  I think that would have helped.  My saving grace was drinking milk before leaving my mother in laws house and then eating some pecans and pretzels in the car on the way home.  Still went to bed feeling like I didn’t eat enough.

And late last night I woke up with reflux. Ugh. This happens every so often. Usually when I catch myself lying flat without realizing it. But this was not the case this time.  Maybe it was all the rich food my body is quite used to anymore. Maybe it was I didn’t eat right before bed like normally do. I’m convinced that eating before bed helps keep the bile at bay and prevents it from working it’s way up to my esophagus.  I find this interesting because a lot of stomachless people find eating to close to bedtime causes the reflux.  Anyway, I felt miserable most of the day. Since this isn’t avid reflux (from stomach acid), it is bile reflux. Which apparently is more alkaline.  So all the antacids you think to use/take when having heart burn don’t work at all. I actually think they make it worse. So I try the things other stomachless people have suggested. Such as Diet Coke, orange juice, or anything that is on the acidic side.  It seems these things work sometimes, but then other times not so much. And today was one of those times they didn’t do much for me.  So I just tried to take in what I could manage slowly all day while hanging out with the kiddos. We literally just played with new toys, played with the dogs, went for a walk. I don’t think I even got dressed until FSR into the afternoon. 

Fingers crossed tomorrow is a better day. Especially since it’s a work day. G’Night

Christmas is next week!

Christmas is next week!  And nope, I’m not ready. Christmas crafts are still sprinkled throughout the house. Although, we have made progress on all of them. Still waiting for several gifts to arrive on our doorstep and have a few last minute gifts to find.  But we’re getting there and I am not stressed about it AT ALL.  Managing my time wisely and rolling with the punches. We do have my daughters teacher gifts wrapped and ready to go.  Thanks goodness, since the last day of school before break is tomorrow.  So that’s a plus. 

The kiddos are super excited to see what Santa will bring them and to be spending so much time with loved ones. 

Eating is going great. I’m feeling great overall.  It’s so much easier to stay hydrated in the colder winter months.  I feel my energy improving each and every week, which is why I keep telling myself I need to start exercising again. I have been very lazy as far as that goes.  Even just some light yoga day to day would help my body, mind and soul so much. So I’m not entirely sure why I’ve been putting it off.  I guess I’m just having trouble prioritizing it again.  K. I’m going to get through the holidays and I’m going to start again.