2019 Reflection

As the year comes to an end, I’ve found myself reflecting. Reflecting on things I’d like to do differently next year.  Reflecting on things I’ve loved about this year.  Reflecting on decisions that have been made this year.  Just really bringing a close to this year to make room for the year ahead. I don’t know that I really believe in New Years resolutions for a couple of reasons. One, I always feel like a failure if I don’t accomplish them. It’s just so much pressure.  Two, as the year comes to an end I hear people scrambling to get their resolution completed. I.E. my husband deciding to learn to ride a unicycle. Btw, this has been a resolution of his for several years and he still has yet to do it. Which, again, doesn’t make him a failure...it’s just what it is. The new year is just a continuation of life. And living our best life. I choose to look at it more like a friendly reminder of the things I’d like to accomplish and a perfect time to reflect on the previous year.

And as I reflect, I’m reminded I’m not perfect. Nor has this last year been perfect. There have been many ups and many downs.  Which is life, right?  I have a tendency to really focus on the negative and dwell a bit. I’m not proud of this. And I am working on it. Learning to ride the wave of life as it is. Be thankful and grateful for all the ups and even the downs. Life would be so boring if it was great all the time. Haha. I tell myself during a low while trying to convince myself of that.  This year has be challenging and stressful to say the least.  So as I learn to give myself and my family grace, I choose to focus on the positives this year has brought. 

I no longer have to stress or worry that I will get this horrendous stomach cancer.  My body is adjusting so well to life without a stomach. It’s still so crazy to think about.  I have been able to spend an unmeasurable amount of time with the people I love most in this world, my hubby and kiddos.  I have learned so much about myself and my family on this crazy journey.  I am stronger and more patient than I have ever known.  It’s very difficult to show love and compassion when you’re not feeling your best.  My kiddos understand and comprehend more than we give them credit for.  They are truly thoughtful, caring and empathetic.  My husband is amazing, which is nothing new.  But he’s really stepped up in ways I could have never imagined.  And I’ve solidified that an untidy house drives new insane, I never want to be a stay at home mom, I’m stubborn as hell, and...I am so lucky in this life. 

So cheers to 2020.  It’s going to be an amazing year.  So many things to look forward too.