Matt and I met with the genetic counselor at MD Anderson (Rebecca Luiten) today. She was amazing. We spent almost 2 hours with her learning about this gene mutation. Unfortunately she confirmed what little information I already knew. She assured us that people who have had a PTG (prophylactic total gastrectomy) are doing very well and leading very healthy normal lives. It usually takes about a year to get back to a new normal, but after that people are doing very well. The key to this mutation is I have a very high chance of getting HDGC (hereditary diffuse gastric cancer) which means it’s in the lining of the stomach. Because it is in the lining it is very difficult to screen for this type of cancer and by the time it is found the cancer is usually in very late stages and I wouldn’t have much of a chance to fight it. Which is why they are recommending a PTG to guarantee I don’t get HDGC. My risk of getting HDGC would go from over 80% to zero chance. My mind tends to gets ahead of myself and I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed, anxious, and sad. At this point in time I think I’ve decided to go ahead with the surgery. I do not want to be in my dad’s situation (finding gastric cancer and having 3 months to live) at any point in the future. I want the chance to be around for my kiddos for as long as possible and I don’t ever want them to experience what I did when my dad was diagnosed. So I am feeling so lucky to have the choice to prevent this awful cancer and remove my stomach. It’s just a matter of timing. The genetic counselor recommends doing it before I turn 36, which is 10 years younger than my dad was when he was diagnosed with gastric cancer. So, I have 3 years to play with. I just don't think I can wait that long as I kind of feel like a ticking time bomb at times. And I honestly don't think any time is better than another. I just need to take my time finding the right people to care for me. I'll meet with the gastroenterologist to get my EGD done and over with. Then I'll slowly start researching surgeons and having consults. I have the tendency to fixate and obsess with decisions I need to make, but this time I am going to take it day by day and still live my life as normal while plugging away at all the work I have to do.
It’s amazing how the grieving process works. I’m actually surprised it only took me a couple short weeks to come to the conclusion that I am so lucky to have this choice and chance to stick around for my kiddos. This has really made me look differently on life. To live life to it’s fullest. To enjoy my kiddos everyday. To slow down and take in all the little moments. To stop worrying and stressing about the little things that don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. To be nicer to my husband; he isn’t perfect either and I shouldn’t expect him to be. To laugh everyday. To do the things I really enjoy in life. To tell the ones close to me that I love them at every chance I get. To give hugs more often and squeeze a little tighter and longer. And to be thankful for this amazing life I have.
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